Our referral came sooner than we expected, which is unusual for an Indian adoption. Everyone remembers that phone call, the discussion, and that picture. OH, that picture.
I don't think I had any choice int he matter. As soon as that face came across the screen, I was in love. I knew he was my son from that moment on. And yes, it made the wait for travel excruciating, but I wouldn't change a thing. It made me much more invested in the process, getting things done quickly, etc.
This time around is a bit different. We know there is a girl out there. We know her age and her medical condition, but have not been given access to a name, picture, etc. Even though I know she's out there, I feel pretty detached. The paperwork just feels like paperwork. I wish that I did feel more connected. That guarded feeling makes it not seem real. I keep on waiting for something to go wrong or fall through.
I think the picture, the name, D.O.B. - All of those things that we connect with identity - that's when my heart gets thrown in. I fall head over heels. And despite the emotional risk and uncertainty, I can't wait to do it again.
3 comments:
I remember talking with you right after you got his referral - wow how time flies! Can't wait to see your new daughter also!
You are right. The paperwork stage for me has been very impersonal. Kinda like a pregnancy before you see the ultrasound and find out the babies sex and hear the heartbeat. :)
When I saw the glimpse of the photo as the screen was opening, I hoped that the photo would be of the next Labonte.
Can't wait until you have details.
Julie R
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