To Commit your heart or not? There is much debate in the adoption world about when you throw your heart into the mix. . .upon first sight of that referral picture? Or not until the court date? Homecoming Date? Share your thoughts and experience!
Our referral came sooner than we expected, which is unusual for an Indian adoption. Everyone remembers that phone call, the discussion, and that picture. OH, that picture.
I don't think I had any choice int he matter. As soon as that face came across the screen, I was in love. I knew he was my son from that moment on. And yes, it made the wait for travel excruciating, but I wouldn't change a thing. It made me much more invested in the process, getting things done quickly, etc.
This time around is a bit different. We know there is a girl out there. We know her age and her medical condition, but have not been given access to a name, picture, etc. Even though I know she's out there, I feel pretty detached. The paperwork just feels like paperwork. I wish that I did feel more connected. That guarded feeling makes it not seem real. I keep on waiting for something to go wrong or fall through.
I think the picture, the name, D.O.B. - All of those things that we connect with identity - that's when my heart gets thrown in. I fall head over heels. And despite the emotional risk and uncertainty, I can't wait to do it again.