Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Attachment

How did attachment go during your first year? Describe what you did to prepare for attachment as well as the joys and challenges of attachment during your first year home?

Well, we haven't been home with Max Rup for a year yet, but attachment has gone much smoother than we thought it would. We know we're lucky, and we know that much of this is because of the wonderful care he got in India. He was held, rocked, comforted, and cuddled by his Ayah's and it is obvious. Thank God for those sweet, amazing women.

We really expected more sadness and confusion from him. When we first left the baby's home, he slept for a long time. But he woke up quite happy and ready to play. He wanted to be cuddled, and would just lay on my shoulder for hours. I'd keep asking, "Is he asleep?" Nope, just cuddling. I enjoyed this as much as he did, I'm sure. The title of my post on Gotcha Day - "Meant to Be" - says it all.

When we got home, he was pretty social, but did not want me out of site. He was clingy when we were home alone, and when I'd leave the room, he really did seem afraid. This got steadily better over the first month or two, but continued during the night. He'd wake up really scared until we went in to get him. We started out co-sleeping, but he is such a wiggle worm that he would fall off the END of the bed at night. Now that he sleeps a bit more restfully, we put him to bed in his own crib, but bring him into bed with us when he wakes in the night.

We read all the books and articles that we could on bonding and attachment, but I still think that the most important thing is to just be in tune with your child's feelings, and moods. Play, but also be there when they are screaming, fighting, and hard to deal with. This is when they need us most. Be consistant. This is important throughout our childrens' lives, so begin now.

Max still loves to cuddle - not only with me but the rest of the family - especially Maddie and Myles. He's also a fan of big, wet kisses from the dogs.

2 comments:

nic said...

I cannot wait to meet the little guy! Less than 2 months and counting!!

Amy said...

I hope we have an easy transition like that - what a blessing!