Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thoughts on Birthmoms

Tomorrow is Max Rup's first "Gotcha Day." I know some folks don't use this name, but I find it sweet and simple and endearing. I didn't want to call it family day since we were a family before Max Rup, and we're a family while waiting for Mehrunissa. OK, back to the subject.

Today I worked on Max Rup's lifebook. I'm a gal that needs a deadline, and Gotcha Day as well as his birthday kicked me into gear! As I began putting it together, I started to get really emotional thinking about the amazing young woman who made the hardest decision of her life to put Max Rup in our family.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I had never thought about her before,in my career I've spoken to birthmoms about their sacrifice, spoken to women who have made other choices for their unborn children. I have read the literature, and have lways had a healthy amount of respect for birthmoms,but I got really emotional about it tonight.

I have this perfect little boy. He is so happy, playful, smart, funny - just plain amazing - but she doesn't know that. It's one of those things about international adoption - there is no openness. When we began this process I thought that would make it easier on us as parents. I think I was wrong. I would give anything to be able to meet this woman who gave my son life. It wouldn't even need to be that. I wish I could just somehow let her know how wonderful he is doing. That he is loved tremendously and will always be taken care of. I also want her to know that we will not let him forget her. He will know that she made a very brave decision because she loved him.

So, Tuhina, if by some miracle you are reading this - we share an amazing little boy who destroyed my keyboard the other day my dumping orange juice all over it and then rubbing it in. He's very thorough :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Peter and Nancy said...

Kristy, this is a beautiful tribute to Max's birthmom . . . I share that desire to somehow have Anya Rashi's birthparents know where she is, and how healthy and happy and spunky she is. Who knows what the future will bring? Maybe there will be a time when she will get to meet Max -- and thank you, just as you want to thank her.
Hugs, and Happy Gotcha Day,

Amy said...

I know Max will treasure that life book! I have thought about many of these same things. Thanks for sharing your appreciation of the wonderful gift of life that so many birth mothers give to their babies :).

ColleenC said...

So touching! I love your description of Max too- I spilled a whole bottle of water on my keyboard not long ago- and I couldn't even blame the kids.

Maybe someday the families and mothers in India will be able to see these sweet posts and know we are thinking of them.

Pam said...

Happy 1st Gotcha Day!! (sorry I'm behind on reading my blogs!!) Sounds like you had a wonderful time. Micah's birthmother is never far from my mind, and I pray for her often. I'm so thankful that all of our children's mothers chose life for our kids.