On a lighter note . . .

The other day we got a lovely surprise in the mail (not a moment too soon if you read my last post). A family picking up their daughter last month was able to take a video of Max. I wish I could post it, but it is way too complicated to convert it and such. It was amazing to see him reacting. He pulled himself up and was shaking the crib. He was so happy the whole time, a big old grin on his face. Maddie and Myles thought it was hilarious when the gentleman taping said he was reading already (he had a book in the crib with him). There's a moment when they take a photo with flash, and max thought the flash was pretty impressive. His expression was priceless. His stature is pretty clearly depicted in the video. The most accurate description I can give is "short and stout." He's got all this curly hair, and he's just amazing. We have watched the video more than I care to admit, and we can't get enough of it. . . especially Maddie and me.

Two of my "cyber adoption buddies" picked up their beautiful daughters yesterday. They were able to snap some really cute pics of Max and some of his friends. They also gave us a bit more insight into who he plays with over there. We were able to connect (again, via internet) with a few other families whose children share a crib with Max frequently. We hope that we will be traveling along with another family when the time comes - it would be amazing to have someone share the experience and may help the kiddos adjust.

So without further ado, our latest glimpse of Max. His hair is absolutely gorgeous. Although I'm not a fan of long hair on boys, I don't think Aunt Moo Moo will be touching those curls for a while.

Warning: this is a rant.

So, we're allowed one meltdown per adoption, right?

I just hit a brick wall today. Everything was fine and then stuff that shouldn't have bothered me, stuff I deal with everyday at work, became really overwhelming. I couldn't get my mind off of Max, and everything came back to that.

And let me just say this . . . I know adoption is unpredictable, I know bumps in the road happen, I know we were aware of this when we began the journey. And I know that I would do it again in a minute. Repeating this to me isn't helpful. It just makes me feel like you're saying that we shouldn't have done this. I don't regret the decision to adopt. I truly believe that Max was destined to be our son. This was our path, and I'm glad to be on it. BUT I'm still 8,000 miles away from my son, and that is hard. Perhaps this is one of those things that you just don't get unless you've been in this situation.

So I've decided to have my meltdown now. I'm supposed to go see two shows in NYC tomorrow, but I'm not going. I just want to be home with my kids. It's a waste of wonderful tickets, I'll call the theaters tomorrow and see if there is a way to give the tickets away. My husband is wonderfully understanding (once again, he's the rational one in the family).

I'm sure this will pass. Sleep and family time will give me some perspective. I really do trust in God's timing, and tonight I'll pray for some patience.

"I Love to Cry at Weddings"

My sister got married this weekend. It was beautiful. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, there was a nice breeze to keep us cool enough, everyone was happy, the company was great. I know my sister thought that I wasn't exactly "into" the wedding. I want to clarify - I was definitely not into the dress. I wouldn't have been into any dress - I wasn't into my own wedding gown. I know I made a toast at the wedding, but unfortunately I turn into a blubbering idiot in front of crowds.

So - Here's what I AM into. . .

Seeing my sister happy - and she was glowing. Seeing her pledge her love to a man who loves her unconditionally. Knowing that she will be taken care of, challenged, and continue to grow with him in their life together - even if it does mean living away from us for a while. So, Jai, even though you may not have thought I was into the wedding, I am DEFINITELY into this marriage. I love you both.