"We Are The Truth - A Campaign and Call to ActionThe Joint Council on International Children's ServicesApril 12, 2010The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children. The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage. You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. You know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive. And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.You, the adoption community know the truth. You live the truth. You are the truth. Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family."
The minute I saw this story in the news, my thoughts were, "great, another excuse." I cannot count the number of times people have said to me, "We'd love to adopt but . . . " and this story would be another something for them to point to. What this woman did to Artyem is horrific and unimaginable. Unfortunately these are the stories that make the news and damage the entire adoption community.
Our story didn't make the news. We think that it is equally amazing:
Dan and I discussed adoption even before we were married. We knew that it would be part of our lives. After Myles turned 1, we decided it was time to make our move. Many families have profound experiences or backgrounds that lead them to adopt from a certain area or at a certain time. Neither of us had that. We spoke to a local agency that I did my field placement with in college. They helped us to decide that international adoption would be a good fit for us, and recommended Dillon, International. We jumped on board with relatively little research, but spoke to several families that used Dillon and were convinced that this is where we belonged. We were open to boys or girls, and because of that, we recieved Max Rup's referral the day after we got our I-171H (necessary before you can accept a referral). The call actually came to my parents' house, but I was there to take it! I couldn't believe how absolutely gorgeous he was, and how absolutely in love with him I fell immediately. 8 months later, we finally met Max Rup, and my blog post was entitled "Meant to Be."
Things changed pretty quickly with our second process. On Wednesday we were told that the little girl we had been pursuing was no longer available. We were disappointed, but knew that God had other plans for us. Well, we didn't think those plans would reveal themselves so quickly. . .Friday our social worker from when we adopted Max Rup posted an email to our forum about a little boy that she really wanted to find a home for. We poured over his information all weekend. He's almost 8 months younger than Max Rup, and this guy's grin can light up a room! We met with our Doc on Monday, and despite some unknowns we called Tami (our social worker again - yay!) and told her we were in. Tami spoke to the amazing woman who runs ISRC (the childrens home in Kolkata). Anju was so happy that Probal is being adopted by Max Rup's family. Anju told Tami that it was "God's Blessing." We completely agree.
Our truth about adoption is simply this: Adoption completed our family. Our children are amazing. We wouldn't change one minute of the experience.